The Bride Price Mentality: Balancing Tradition and Equality in Marital Practices

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         In many communities across Africa, Asia, and beyond, bride price remains a significant marital tradition. Often presented as a gesture of honor to the bride’s family for raising a daughter, it can symbolize respect and family unity.  Yet, in some contexts, this practice carries an uncomfortable undertone: it can imply that women are goods to be exchanged, that love requires payment, and that marriage prioritizes economic ties over mutual partnership. For generations, bride price has been called tradition. But for many women, especially where it’s transactional, it can feel like a contract—one that shapes their value and limits their freedom. By exploring its complexities, we can honor cultural heritage while addressing its challenges in today’s world. Where Bride Price Shapes Marriage Dynamics Nigeria Among Nigeria’s Igbo, Yoruba, and Hausa communities, bride price is a cultural cornerstone, ranging from symbolic gifts to su...

Life After Service: Why Many Nigerian Retirees End Up Broke—Even with a Pension

          There’s a silent struggle happening across Nigeria. You won’t always hear it in the headlines, but it’s real. It’s in the quiet sigh of an old man at a local canteen, checking if he has enough money to buy food. It’s in the tired eyes of an elderly woman selling tomatoes by the roadside.

 These are the faces of our retirees—men and women who served the country, taught in schools, built public infrastructure, worked for decades—and still find themselves broke and struggling.

This isn’t just about unpaid pensions. Some of them do get their monthly pension, even if it’s small. The deeper problem is that many of them retire expecting life to get easier. They think it’s time to “enjoy” after years of labor. But what they don’t realize is this: retirement doesn't end financial responsibility—it shifts it. And if you're not ready for that shift, it will shock you.


Let’s talk about it. Not to judge, but to understand—and guide.

I Worked Hard. I Deserve to Enjoy.”

That’s the mindset many retirees carry. And honestly, it’s not wrong. If you’ve worked 30+ years, waking up early, dealing with bad bosses, stress, and sometimes corruption—you do deserve peace. You do deserve comfort.

But here’s the trap: that mindset can lead to emotional spending.

They want to travel, buy cars, rebuild the village house, throw parties, sponsor extended family members—and all from a pension that’s often less than half of what they used to earn when they were working. The math doesn’t work, but the emotions are louder than common sense.

It’s not just about money. It’s about identity. About proving that all those years meant something. That “I’m still relevant.” That “my life still has meaning.”

So they spend—not because they can, but because they feel they must.


The Psychological Crash No One Talks About

Retirement comes with silence. No office gossip. No daily traffic. No promotions. No meetings. For many Nigerians, especially men, their job wasn’t just a job—it was their identity, their routine, their pride.

The moment that ends, it feels like the world has moved on without them.

To avoid facing that silence, many retirees fall into denial. They keep trying to live as though nothing has changed. Same spending habits. Same lifestyle. But with less income.

It’s a slow, silent crash. And by the time reality hits, they’ve spent most of their gratuity, taken loans they can’t repay, and are now fully dependent on their monthly pension—which may not even cover rent, healthcare, or food.


Why They Still Struggle—Even with a Pension

Let’s break it down:

1. Lifestyle Inflation During Service Years:    
   Many civil servants live above their means, assuming the money will keep coming. Some borrow to fund lifestyle habits they can’t sustain after retirement.


2. Lack of Financial Literacy: 
      Few people plan for retirement. Fewer still understand investing or saving long-term. To them, Retirement comes as a surprise, not a prepared transition.


3. Family Pressure: 
      Once someone retires, everyone assumes they’ve “cashed out.” So the calls start coming—school fees, medical bills, business loans for relatives. And in trying to help, retirees drain their resources.


4. Health Costs: 
       As the body ages, the cost of maintenance rises. Medication, surgery, check-ups—it all adds up, and pensions rarely cover it.


5. Poor Investment Decisions: 
        In an attempt to “multiply” their retirement money, some fall for scams or dump their gratuity into businesses they don’t understand.


       So no, the issue isn’t just unpaid pensions. It’s that even with pensions, many still lack the structure, discipline, and support to thrive after retirement.



So, What’s the Way Forward?

Let’s say the truth. No one plans to suffer in old age. And yet, so many end up there. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. There is a way forward—even after the fall.


What Retirees (And Those Preparing For Retirement) Can Start Doing Differently:

1. Accept the New Reality—And Adjust

The first and hardest step is acceptance. Your income has changed. Your identity is evolving. That doesn’t mean your value has reduced—it just means your strategy must change.

Cut unnecessary expenses. Downsize where needed. Let go of the urge to prove anything to anyone. You’re in a new season—treat it with wisdom.


2. Build a New Routine

Don’t let retirement become idleness. Start a small farm. Volunteer. Teach. Mentor. Consult. Stay mentally and physically active. Purpose doesn’t retire—only positions do.

And many retirees have decades of experience the younger generation desperately needs. Use it. Share it. Get paid for it, even if modestly.


3. Start Something Small That Pays

You don’t need capital in millions to start a side hustle. You can partner with someone, supervise a family business, or sell your knowledge (write, consult, train).

The goal isn’t to “blow”—it’s to stay afloat, productive, and independent.


4. Say No—Even to Family

Yes, it’s hard. But if you keep giving out money you don’t have, soon you’ll be the one begging. Draw boundaries. Explain your situation. Help only when it won't affect your living expenses.

Your retirement money is not a community fund.


5. Invest Safely

Don’t rush into any “double your money” schemes. Stick to ventures with risks you can manage, e.g: real estate. Don't put all your money in one investment. No matter how good it sounds.


6. Heal Emotionally

Retirement can bring up feelings of abandonment, regret, or fear. Don’t suppress them. Talk to someone. Journal. Join a community of fellow retirees. Don’t carry the emotional weight alone and make new friends too.


A Message to Those Still Working

If you’re still in service, let this be your warning and your wisdom.

Start planning now. 

Save more. 

Learn how to manage money. 

Avoid unnecessary loans. 

Think beyond salary. 

Build multiple income streams. 

Your pension alone will not be enough.

And most importantly—don’t tie your identity to your job. Tie it to your values, your vision, your growth. That way, when the job ends, your life doesn’t.



           The Nigerian pension system might be completely broken. But many people are also breaking themselves—with unrealistic expectations, emotional spending, and lack of planning.

You worked for 30+ years. That’s honorable. But don’t let those years end in regret. With wisdom, discipline, and courage—you can build a better life after service. A simpler life. A freer life.

Because true retirement isn’t the end. It’s a chance to start again—on your own terms.




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