The Reason Many People Keep Failing: Because They Expect Perfection

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Key Takeaways Perfectionism is a cultural trap, not a sign of high standards. Fear of failure is deeply embedded in homes, schools, and society.** Mistakes are punished, not embraced as learning or feedback—so people stop trying. Growth begins when you separate your worth from your outcomes. To win, fail forward—consistently, intentionally, and without shame.        You weren’t raised to grow—you were raised to impress. From your first red-ink correction in primary school or kindergarten, the message was clear: mistakes are shameful.   Success must be flawless. Effort means nothing if it’s not perfect. So you grew up terrified of trying unless you're guaranteed to win. You don’t experiment. You don’t stretch. You don’t launch. Because what if you flop? But what if the real trap isn’t failure—it’s the fear keeping you stuck? Perfectionism isn’t ambition—it’s a cage built by culture, family, and fear.  In Nigeria and many developing nations, the ...
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The Impact of Extended Family on Personal Finance

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           Believe it or not, people are being drained, trying to balance their finances while catering to the endless demands of others. These types of people are called “extended families” or to be more blunt, leaches. 

Leaching has become a culture in some places like Naija to the extent that the leaches or extended families feel a sense of ownership and entitlement towards someone else’s money and success. 

I would fully blame them if this wasn’t one of the most overlooked and draining factors when it comes to personal finances. For future references, extended family is anybody including your parents, uncles, cousins, aunties, your babe’s family, your babe, your siblings, your neighbors, church members, friends, friend’s family and last but not least your village people (elders)… that are demanding your resources because of their connection to you. 

Anybody can become an extended family, usually after helping them once or twice or assuming you are more financially stable than they are. They start viewing you as their financial backup.

     Signs you may experience are;
1. They take without adding value

2. Ask for money with little to no regard for your own needs and responsibilities

3. They use guilt to make you feel obligated to help

4. They believe your money is theirs even if they’ve done nothing to earn it

5. It is very rare for them to help you

6. They only contact you when they need help

7. They don’t respect your boundaries


     Genuine family members ask for help when they truly need it. They don’t pressure you if you say no. They reciprocate, even if it’s not financially. They respect your boundaries and understand your pocket.

      Be clear about what you can and cannot do, learn to say no politely..it would not make you a bad person, stop explaining yourself.. it’s your money, don't make it a habit to bail people out repeatedly, suggest other ways they can solve their problems, use your budget as an excuse.

You can avoid such people and scenarios by:
1. Not broadcasting your financial statement or plans.

2. Focus on yourself.

3. Create a budget for extended family.. if you want, involve your spouse… except she is part of the extended family 🥲.

4. Distance yourself if necessary


       Finally, are you an extended family member or do you have extended families ?🌝

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